I have recently been asked my opinion by Tie the Knot Scotland on how wedding couples can cut down on their numbers to ensure their celebrations meet the latest Scottish restrictions.
You can check out the full article on the subject in the link above and my full response in the next few paragraphs.
P.S. If you are also looking for a collaboration on a wedding-related project or a piece of editorial, contact me today at oskar@theweddingguruoskar.co.uk
P.P.S. If you’re a wedding planning couple looking for help or advice on how to best manage your wedding, book your informal 15 minutes consultation today.
Where should couples start with slimming down their guest list to fit Covid restrictions?
A lot of couples often come to me with a wedding guest list to rival a royal wedding!
During these times my advice is to prepare List A & List B irrespective of Covid.
LIST A should include all those guests that are a must at your wedding.
LIST B on the other hand, is for those guests that you might really want to invite to the wedding, but due to restrictions and limitation you physically cannot.
Additionally, if you planned for children to attend your wedding or more distant relatives, you might want to delay these invitations to ensure you can have the allowed number including those MOST important guests. Under the circumstances, they will understand, and it also means you can have a second party- the big reception when they are permitted again. Why not consider this and make it your commitment to remove those guests in order to meet the current regulations?
What are the restrictions and who do/don’t they include?
The current restrictions are broken down into Levels in accordance with the latest Scottish Governmental Guidelines on Covid lockdown. Here are some details for you to consider:
Wedding Ceremonies and Receptions should only take place at a venue, where Covid regulations and guidance are complied with. This includes hotels, restaurants and purpose-built event venues in indoor or outdoor spaces.
Exclusive use venues and outdoor marquees can still be used as long as the premises are managed by venue staff and not the couples or their guests.
Venues otherwise closed for day-to-day operation due to Level 4 restrictions can still provide the wedding ceremony service.
Wedding ceremonies can only take place in private dwelling where one or both parties are unable to leave their home, for instance due to terminal illness and the numbers attending such ceremony must be kept to a bare minimum. Those ceremonies also must observe and comply with Covid rules and protection.
Guests attending the ceremony do not have to be the same guests who get to attend your reception and this is another way of how to best manage your numbers if you don’t want to upset anyone. The following numbers apply to the levelled approach to weddings by the Scottish Government:
Level 0 = up to 50 guests ceremony and reception
Level 1-3 = up to 20 guests ceremony and reception
Level 4 = 20 guests ceremony ONLY
*These numbers include children, photographer and all your suppliers present on the day, except your ceremony officiant
Guests can travel between levels and from England as well as internationally (following relevant international travel restrictions such as 14 days quarantine upon arrival) for wedding purposes.
Face coverings must be worn at all times by guests during the wedding ceremony, only the ceremony officiant and the couples can take their face coverings off during the official ceremony while observing social distancing rules.
Music is now permitted for ceremony purposes only and speeches can only be performed through an amplified PA system. Music is still currently not permitted in the receptions.
Finally, alcohol can be served at receptions only within levels 0-3 and levels 2-3 must observe 10pm curfew.
Source: My Scotland Wedding
How can brides and grooms decide who should make the cut? Should they change their bridesmaid/groomsmen line-up for example? Should it be based on who’s closest to them, or who’s most at risk, health-wise? Or maybe on who lives furthest away? What strategy should they adopt?
In my opinion the relationship, vulnerability to Covid and travel should be taken into consideration when reducing your wedding day guest list in line with the current regulations. If I was to be in wedding planning couple’s shoes now, I would identify who from my guest list is the closest to me and who I ‘must have’ at my wedding.
I would then identify those guests that are vulnerable to Covid because of their relative age or underlying health conditions – why not organise a virtually streamed ceremony viewing for them?
Finally, I would want to understand who is potentially facing travel restrictions and quarantines if travelling internationally, would the quarantine mean them missing the celebration?
I get it, it’s super tough to have to do this and I can’t even begin to imagine what couples must be going through right now, but at the same time, I don’t think anyone would want to put their family and friends at risk.
If vulnerable guests are non-negotiables for the couple (like parents, for example), what can they do to minimise risk and accommodate them? Should an element of the day be kept to immediate family, to be as safe as possible?
I’m not sure I would risk vulnerable guests, but a socially distanced ceremony kept to a bare minimum would be an option. Additionally, thanks to today’s technology, those guests at risk and staying home can still join in through live streamed events.
I had the pleasure of organising this for a couple, their guests dressed up in the safety of their own homes, did readings during the ceremony, and afterwards they got 15 minutes to speak to the couple once the ceremony completed. The entire ceremony stream was recorded and then shared with the family. How do you like this solution for keeping everyone safe?
How and when should they deliver the news to people who won’t be able to come in a sensitive and tactful way? In what ways can they soften the blow: i.e. you’ll host a live stream, you’re planning on having a bigger reception later when restrictions allow etc?
I think that under the current circumstances and ever-changing environment, couples shouldn’t put too much pressure on themselves on when to communicate these changes to their guests. I planned a wedding that needed to change things three days before their special day and I helped them make it happen.
It is probably easier to get everyone in front of a screen at the same time to announce this change to everyone at the same time, so nobody feels singled out – it also allows for all guest questions to be answered during this one live stream.
Alternatives can be suggested such as live streaming of ceremony as mentioned above, or if the couples are planning for a reception when these are possible, why not share this news with the guests – that’d be a lovely silver lining for them too.
Image: Daria Makiela Photography (https://wedding-artwork.co.uk/)
If someone is really important to the couple but absolutely cannot attend (like a grandparent maybe) what can the couple do to make them feel included over and above a live stream?
If this very important person cannot attend in person and online, why not call them and ask them to read a poem during the ceremony. I am currently working with a Bride who asked her family and friends from abroad to post buttons to her, so that she can sew them to her dress and know that they are there with them in spirit – I think this is such a wonderful idea, don’t you think?
What if restrictions change during the planning process? Should you make lists for various scenarios? Is it acceptable to re-invite guests when the outlook changes again? What’s the etiquette?
This is me coming back to my List A & List B scenario – if you’ve still got time to make those changes and you can manage these, why not invite your List B guests – trust me they won’t mind, everyone understands that this is not your choice to be constantly chopping and changing things, you’ve simply been given no other choice. Why not arrange for a live stream call again and break it to them- even raise a glass to them, in joy they can now join you – that would make them feel so special.
Any other tips and advice?
